Will number 116 please come out!!

Back in mists of time when I first started this cow farming game I was a cautious lad who clucked about every new calf born. Since then 95% that have come out have been problem free deliveries that i have not witnessed. The ones that i have assisted in have been a mixed bag. At present count there have been 6 Caesarean ops with 4 live and two dead. I also had a run off one of those things when we lost a few calves for niggly reasons like cervix not opening.

Through this time I have had some mighty assistance from Norfolk Farm Vets without whom i would be lost. They are a large animal practice very fortunatly based up the road and deserve a blog post all to themselves!

Back on thread i am waiting for a calf that seems never to arrive. For the past month she has looked ready and in that time seven have arrived from Mums who didn't!! The cow in question is She Devil (Pedergree name Andrew Fredericks Why Primrose but i don't think it does her justice) who is the subject of the most dramatic Caesarean at Church farm. 26 months ago i arrived on the field and found her with feet out the back (crossed, bad sign) and tried to persuade her into a pen for further inspection. It became obvious very quickly that she was going to be a handful.

Now this wasn't my first time doing this, in fact we had done the same op the day before and it had gone very smoothly. The deeply grateful cow ambled in to the pen with only the mildest of instruction and stood amicably while we removed the calf through her side.

She devil took the opposite route. Dad and I ran her (quad and landrover) around until she happend to crash into the pen. Molly the vet arrived and giving She Devil 10 mins to calm down I prepared my self to go in the pen and halter her for examination from the vet. What happen next was a blur, I remember alot of shouting and dancing like i have never danced before trying to quickstep round the savage creature who was hell bent on ending me. As i leaped out the pen she tried to follow, i still have the scars on my knuckles from punching her nose. LOTS of sedative and reinforcments called we had her restrained and with me at her head and Roger Moore (same name, not as cheesy) with a leg up Molly set to work.

As the cow was lying it made the operation more difficult and i have to say that Molly was brillo pads. When the calf was born due to the sedative being used he had alot of fluid in his lungs, Roger set to work on him and pints and pints of fluid came out. Meanwhile the satanic heavy beast was thrashing around on the ground, the sweat was pouring of me desperatly trying to keep her still for Molly. Molly was stiching away without assistance, until She devils rumen popped out and onto the ground, cue more thrashing and mud and s**t and god knows what else going back inside her.  With the calf alive and stable Roger retuned to the party and Molly got her all stiched up, at one time uttering the phase "I don't know what i'm stiching to what in here"

We vacated the pen and with the calf just outside we stood back and waited to see what would happen. She looked relatively calm so I released her to hopefully care lovingly for her baby. No chance, she legged it, swaying. We consoled ourselves that at least we had a live calf and with the amount of c**p that had gone in the cow she was unlikly to live (at that moment i thought, good!). She was given a course of antibiotics for five days, i managed two and I left her too it.

After this I contemplated over the incident and thought that she really isn't that bad really, since then she has been through the handling pen without incident, showing no sign of agresion. On that day all the running around before hand was obviously awful and put her in a REALLY bad mood.

So here she is pregnant again and soooooo close to popping. I would like anyone who reads this to just cross your fingers for a peaceful natural delivery 'cause i don't reckon Molly'll come back for this'n!!!